Relationships aren't always easy as pie. Sure it may seem easy when you make your relationship a part of your daily routine, but that doesn't always mean it's always a good idea. Ian and I tend to lean towards sticking to a routine during the week, which allows us to know ahead of time what days we'll see each other and what days are kind of ours to catch up on work and other things. I think this is the luxury of still not living together (which is hopefully changing this summer!). We literally can have a day off of seeing each other and actually get work done. BUT I think we also find ourselves sometimes stuck in this routine and feel like there's no way out of it.
Getting out of that routine I think is really important. Not always every week, but enough that it keeps the sparkle alive. Sparkle, as we have seen over and over on Sex and the City, is actually an important aspect to relationships. Making each other feel special, new, and beautiful like a sparkly jewel is the best thing you could do.
Here are ways that Ian and I keep the sparkle alive in our (almost 6 year long) relationship:
Date Each Other
Yea, Yea, you're going to tell me of course my partner and I are dating each other, otherwise we wouldn't be together. OK, I'll give you that, but think hard of when the last time you guys did something new together or went out for dinner and actually talked? Ian and I, lately, have been doing something new where we don't let ourselves look at our phones while we are on date night. We'll keep them on ringer if something really important comes up, but otherwise when we go out we are focused on us, not what old friends that we haven't talked to in years are doing on Facebook.
Also don't use date night to hash out an argument. Use this time to talk about positive things, or things that worry you- a topic of conversation could be the future. Don't use your date night time to fight about those dirty dishes over dinner and drinks, to only wonder why did we just spend on that money and I didn't even have any fun?!!!!
Invest Yourself in Their Interests
My boyfriend is a big sailor. He has sailed since he was a child and is really good at the sport. When we first started dating, it became apparent to me that I had to become interested in this as well otherwise I would loose him. It's not a bad thing, it's just sailing is a very important aspect of Ian's life, and if I had not taken the time to invest in his interests our relationship would not had lasted or he would not be the same guy. And becoming interested in this part of his life was soo easy. I didn't have to force it, it just happened.
Even though I am still no where near as good of a sailor as he is (or most people up at the lake) I still show up every weekend that there are club races or regattas at our local sailing club. Over the years I have worked up to crewing on a bigger boat and just this past fall started crewing on a smaller sailboat. When I invest my time in things Ian likes to do, I can tell in the way he looks at me that he loves me even more. Just like I appreciate when Ian invests time in things I'm interested in.
Be Open with Each Other
Don't be afraid to bring up something that is freaking you out! (Maybe don't do this on date night though!) No one likes to see their partner suffer silently, and Ian is the same way. Some of my most cherished moments is when something is bothering me, either with my family or stress of what's coming next in my life, all Ian has to do is touch my back and I can burst into tears. It's like he just knows I need to be comforted rather than be asked "What's wrong". He's there to have an open ear and not judge what I am saying. Whenever I am stressing about something, I know all I need to do is talk it out loud with Ian and I will feel better.
Talking with each other sometimes may lead to frustrating moments, but it's worth it in the end. You don't want stress turning into something bigger involving your relationship by keeping it buried inside.
Be Giving
Be generous by giving your partner the world- or what you can at the time :). Things like waking up earlier than your partner on a Sunday morning to make them (& yourself, let's be honest!) breakfast in bed. Ian and I always have fun doing this when I spend the weekend at his place. Sometimes he gets upset that I wake up before him, but I like being giving as well! Giving your partner random things or planning a surprise (random) date will show them how much you care. Gifts, flowers, and dates don't have to be saved for special anniversaries or birthdays. You can have a random special night out for no reason. Ian and I do it all the time (probably because we love food!).
Have Fun!!!
Just because life is short, doesn't mean you have to be so serious! Let loose and have fun. Have fun your way. Don't abide to what society thinks twenty something year olds should do to have fun. If we did that, it would be beer bongs and Flip the Cup. If someone were to ask Ian and I when we have the most fun, it's with the people pictured below (missing a few of course). By developing your own way of having fun, you are ensuring that both partners are having a good time when you go out and that one partner doesn't feel left out.
Comment below with how you keep your relationship sparkly and look for my post tomorrow!
XOXO-Mandie